BACKSLIDIN’
So, since my heroic trip to the doctor, I’ve been backsliding a bit. I think this is perhaps human nature. I have not gone out and eaten a whole box of cookies, as was my wont, but I have said okay, I can have a little rice, or a little pasta, or a half a candy bar. Consequently my blood sugar has been in the 100-teens, with some days down in the 90s. I’ve missed a few walks, eaten a few over-indulgent meals. But I’m still basically on track. I’ve lost 32 pounds (on the scale in the morning) and by the end of the day I will have lost 29. Yay for me.
So here’s a new problem. My pants won’t stay up.
When I was young and curvy it was all tight dresses and high heels. Then the corporate years: business suits, low heels, accessories. Then the early motherhood years: jeans, baggy t-shirts, food stains, ratty sneakers. Then, years of boring, loose slacks/sweater combos to hide what lies beneath, and dikey shoes. Then several months ago, tired of looking the frump, I went out and bought some nice flowy skirts and tops for work. And now they are all too big.
At my height (and girth), everything I buy is already too long. So a cocktail dress on a normal human is a floor-length gown on me. Now, having lost thirtyish pounds, all the pretty things I bought are falling off, which means I either have to safety pin everything, roll up the waist bands, or - my personal favorite - wear everything hiked up as far under my boobs as humanly possible. I keep wheeling my office chair over the hem of my skirt and getting stuck.
I’m finding that this whole weight loss/eating better/caring about your body thing isn’t a panacea, after all. It hasn’t fixed my asthma, my near-sightedness, my bad knee, my allergies, or the constant ache in my right hip, which I’ve self-diagnosed as a nasty case of trochanteric bursitis. I’m still missing a few teeth, and getting blinded at night by oncoming headlights. What the hell?
On the other hand, I’m sleeping better, and snoring a lot less (apparently). I’m not the ravening wolf I used to be about food. My acne is better. (Gosh, maybe someone will ask me to prom.) And now sometimes, when I walk by a reflective surface, I can actually imagine what I would look like if I lost all the weight. What I used to look like. And that’s still my goal.
Starting again on All Saints Day, because…here comes Hallowe’en, the most beloved holiday of all!
Having a nut-allergic family member means that kids coming to our house get Nerds and Twizzlers and other non-nutty things. Sucks for them, but it should help with my overall intake because if it doesn’t have chocolate in it, I am just not interested. And now, with one kid at college and the other one too old to go out for Hallowe’en, there’s no more waiting until they’re asleep and stealing all their good candy. Bummer!
I may have to pick a new favorite holiday.
